I have a friend, Deborah, a psychologist...
... who was asked by the city of Philadelphia...
... if she could offer psychological counselling to Cambodian refugees...
...boat people, who had recently arrived in the city.
Deborah was daunted by the task. These Cambodians...
...had suffered genocide, starvation, relatives murdered before their eyes...
...years in refugee camps, harrowing boat trips to the West.
How could she relate to their suffering?
How could she help these people?
So guess what all these people wanted to talk about...
... with my friend Deborah, the psychologist.
It was all, "I met this guy in the refugee camp.
I thought he really loved me, but when we got separated...
...he took up with my cousin. Now he says he loves me...
...and keeps calling me. They're married now. What should I do?"
This is how we are.
May I help you?
I'm Liz GiIbert. I'm writing a magazine article on Bali.
I wanted to meet a medicine man.
Everyone said I should meet Ketut Liyer. Am I in the right place?
Wait.
I mean, here I am with a ninth-generation medicine man...
...and what do I wanna ask him about?
Getting closer to God?
Saving the world' starving children?
Happy to see you. I am Ketut Liyer.
Nope. I wanna discuss my relationship.
You are a world traveIIer.
You wiII Iive a Iong time...
...have many friends, many experiences.
You wiII have two marriages. One Iong, one short.
Am I in the Iong one or the short one?
Can't teII.
AIso you wiII Iose aII your money.
I think in next six to 1 0 months.
Don't worry. You wiII get it aII back again.
And you wiII come back to BaIi...
...and Iive here for three or four months and teach me EngIish.
I never had anybody to practise my EngIish with.
And then...
...I wiII teach you everything I know.
Wait.
I have this for you.
Keep grounded so it's Iike you have four Iegs.
That way, you can stay in this worId.
AIso, no Iooking at worId through your head.
Look through your heart instead.
That way, you wiII know God.
Which is why you came here, no?
See you Iater, aIIigator.
I proofread aII of her manuscripts.
My wife is very, very beautifuI, but she can't speII for anything.
Look at UncIe Stephen.
And Auntie Liz.
I'm counting the minutes for this to be over so I can get in my big-girI pants.
You Iook fantastic. You just had a baby.
Oh, you're Iying. I'm fat, I'm exhausted...
...I can't keep two thoughts. I feeI Iike Liza MinneIIi.
Stephen, can you hoId Jack?
-I'm gonna introduce you to WaIter. -Yeah.
Hey, dude, you wanna grab a beer or something?
My new book comes out in ApriI. Thank you for asking.
-Great. -May.
May. May.
This is Andre. You two are Times' Most NotabIe nominees.
-So gIad to finaIIy meet you. -Nice to finaIIy meet you.
I fed him nachos. Is that bad?
You Iook comfortabIe. What'd you feed him, chIoroform?
-Give him to his dad. -I toId you, nachos.
Know what? I'd be asIeep too if I had a dump Iike that.
-We'lI give him to his mom. -Come here then.
-Wanna heIp me change his diaper? -Yes, I do.
Hey, how's the vintage car thing going?
Oh, no, no, no. I changed jobs. I'm a pastry chef now.
-You mean you're a baker. -Yeah.
You wanna get baked?
I know, I know.
It's hard, isn't it?
Oh, no. This is so much fun.
Did you know the exact moment you wanted to have a baby?
I can't remember, but I've had the box since before I got married.
What box?
It's girIy and embarrassing, and you'lI Iaugh at me if I teII you.
I wiII Iaugh at you, but you stiII have to teII me.
Come on.
Under the bed.
I've been fiIIing it with baby things...
...waiting untiI Andy was ready to be a father.
So sweet.
Does this come in my size?
I have a box just Iike this, except it's fiIIed with National Geographics...
...and The Times traveI section.
AII the pIaces I wanna see before I die.
Liz, having a baby is Iike getting a tattoo on your face.
You kind of wanna be fuIIy committed.
So my trip to Aruba next week, which is just a basic, you know...
..." where to sIeep, swim and stuff your face" piece....
I got a new bikini.
And it turns out, I have unIimited minibar access.
-You know what that means? -Jet Iag?
You, me...
...macadamia nuts.
That was cute.
You know who I was taIking to at the party who was reaIIy inspiring...
-...was Tara's friend. -Brian.
Brian. UnbeIievabIe. He's a teacher, you know that?
He's a substitute teacher, isn't he?
Yeah. He was taIking about the budget cuts that are happening now.
There's no money for anything.
There's no music cIasses, there's no arts cIasses.
They're voIunteering their time to do aII of this after schooI.
They're educating our kids, you know?
I think you'd make a great teacher, honey.
Thank you, but I was thinking more of Iike...
...education. Getting my masters, going back to schooI. I don't know.
You know?
I-- You know....
-Going back to schooI. -I'm just thinking out Ioud.
I was getting the sinking feeling that Ketut' prophecy was coming true.
Was I in the shorter marriage?
We'd only bought this house a year ago.
Hadn't I wanted this?
I had actively participated in every moment of the creation...
... of this life.
So why didn't I see myself in any of it?
The only thing more impossible than staying...
... was leaving.
I didn't wanna hurt anybody. I wanted to slip quietly out the back door...
...and not stop running until I reached Greenland.
Instead, I made a decision.
To pray.
You know, lik e, to God.
And it was such a foreign concept to me, that I swear I almost began with.:
"I'm a big fan of your work. "
HeIIo, God?
Nice to finaIIy meet you. I....
I am sorry I've never spoken directIy to you before...
...but...
...I hope I've expressed my...
...ampIe gratitude for aII the bIessings you've given...
...to me in my Iife.
I'm in serious troubIe.
I don't know what to do.
I need an answer.
PIease, teII me what to do.
Oh, God, heIp me, pIease.
TeII me what to do and I'lI do it.
Go back to bed, Liz.
I don't wanna go to Aruba.
I don't wanna be married.
You know, there's a whoIe divorce section downstairs.
-" Pepper grinder." -She's having...
-...a nervous breakdown. -This is what girIs do.
-She's processing. -Why doesn't she get drunk or Iaid?
That's what I wouId do if you Ieft me.
No, you wouIdn't .
-No, I wouIdn't . -She moved out, she fiIed for divorce.
They were together eight years. She's got no home.
" Legacy."
Every word in ItaIian is Iike a truffIe. A magic trick.
Honey, I get it. It's your Iife raft right now.
When Andy and I broke up for two weeks, I bought a Ioom.
A frigging Ioom. And he tried to start a microbrewery.
I don't know how you guys aren't sick of me now. I'm sick of me.
Are you kidding me? We Iove having you.
It's kind of Iike having a writer in residence.
But you are a writer. You shouId be writing something.
Maybe I couId write about a woman who goes to ItaIy to Iearn ItaIian.
CaII it Carbohydrates and Conjugations.
I'lI start Iooking for a pIace.
-I'm faIIing in Iove with you. -I'm not who you think I am.
I'm just your fantasy.
No, that's buIIshit. You're reaI.
Your scars, your taIent.
The fact that I own a piece-of-crap bar...
...and you accept that that's aII I'm gonna do.
Okay, this sucks.
-I second that. -Don't be rude.
I Iove your pain.
And I Iove that when we're together, I can make it go away.
-Oh, he's good. -Your Iove...
-He's hot, there's a difference. -...is Iike a hot panini.
And when I Iook into your eyes, I hear doIphins cIapping.
I did not write that Iine.
Here's what he doesn't know yet.
I disappear into the person I Iove.
I am the permeabIe membrane. If I Iove you, you can have it aII.
My money, my time, my body...
...my dog, my dog's money.
I wiII assume your debts and project upon you...
...aII sorts of nifty quaIities you've never actuaIIy cuItivated in yourseIf.
I wiII give you aII this and more...
...untiI I am so exhausted and depIeted...
...the onIy way I can recover...
...is by becoming infatuated with someone eIse.
-EIizabeth, hi. -Hi.
Oh, reaIIy?
How you doing?
Cheers.
-Thank you. -I owe you an apoIogy.
-For the waIkouts. -WeII, I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
I doubt that.
I, on the other hand, was shit.
-AIthough I was trying very hard. -"Shit" is a strong word.
Thank you.
You seem shorter in person than on the stage.
-ReaIIy? I hear that a Iot. -Sorry.
It's good.
It's unnerving when...
...a totaI stranger sees you more cIearIy than you see yourseIf.
That's what I mean by saying you're short.
Are you hearing doIphins cIapping right now?
I took a few Iiberties with your materiaI.
I give you fuII permission to make fun of me. I know you're dying to.
You're far too charming to make fun of.
I'm stiII hearing them.
Is that your guru?
You're joking, but, yes, it is.
She's beautifuI.
Yeah. A friend toId me about her.
I was out of work and feeIing pretty desperate for something.
Not the Iast time I was out of work, the time before that.
And I just had this feeIing Iike I was Iooking in aII the wrong pIaces.
Looking for what?
God.
She has an ashram in India. I'm dying to go, but...
...you know, you have to get, Iike, three stages of hepatitis shots...
...and my insurance aIways runs out.
I'lI go when the time's right.
There's a gathering of her students every morning.
If you want, I couId take you sometime.
If you're not unnerved by 1 00 crunchy peopIe chanting in Sanskrit.
I need to be unnerved.
David. A yogi from Yonk ers.
I didn't exactly fall in love with the guy.
What happened was I dove out of my marriage...
...and into David' arms...
... exactly the same way a cartoon circus performer...
... dives off a high platform and into a small cup of water...
... vanishing completely.
Your underwear, my queen.
He just foIded my deIicates.
Oh, my God, baby, you are in so much troubIe.
Thirty-six?
My cIient is simpIy not interested in a divorce.
Is he serious?
Is he reaIIy representing himseIf?
One semester of Iaw schooI right here, baby.
Great. WeII, what wouId it take to interest your cIient?
Okay, so here's the deaI. You have screwed up my Iife...
...but what I wanna know is why couIdn't you find yourseIf...
...in our marriage? Why didn't you say what you were thinking?
-I did. You never Iistened to me. -No. You never said:
" Hey, you know what? You suck. I'm deepIy unhappy."
You just took off. You never gave me a chance to address those probIems.
That's not fair. That's just quitting. I took vows.
TiII death. And I take them seriousIy.
I beIieve this is just a phase and I'm wiIIing to wait it out.
You are aIways waiting, Stephen.
Waiting for me to come home, to wanna have kids...
...to make you dinner. I don't know why we can't accept...
...we don't wanna Iive in unhappiness anymore.
I accept the fact that I am occasionaIIy unreIiabIe...
...and I often get sidetracked, but I thought you Iiked that about me.
I thought it was okay that I had hopes and dreams.
Have a dream. Stephen, great, fine. Do that. Just pick one.
Okay, I pick one. I pick you.
I know this is awfuI.
But I beIieve with every moIecuIe of my body that you wiII find the person...
...that wants just what you want.
That wiII give you what you want and what you deserve. I'm not her.
WeII, you obviousIy know nothing about what I want.
My cIient wouId Iike to submit a song he wrote...
...that he beIieves is reIevant to these proceedings. Goes something Iike this:
Are you kidding?
Quitter, quitter, quitter!
How about I take the bIame? I am the one who couIdn't deaI...
...with another weekend roaming some box-shaped superstore...
...buying appIiances on credit...
...and pretending to be a coupIe that neither one of us ever knew how to be.
You wanted that toaster.
"You Iike faking it, fine. You're steIIar. I'm the faiIure. I suck at faking it."
-It was not my finest hour. -So where do things stand now?
We're prepared to offer haIf of everything...
...and my cIient's retirement accounts.
Take it aII then. Everything.
He stiII said no.
-He hates me now. -He doesn't hate you.
His heart is broken.
I think he hates you.
I'm never Ietting you out of the basement.
Why don't we taIk next week and we'lI see where things stand?
-Okay. -These things have a way...
...of working themseIves out.
So why'd you become a vegetarian?
I saw some cows sIaughtered one time.
BareIy touched your dinner.
He's 28.
This is hard for him, isn't it? And you?
The meditations heIp.
Liz.
You remember a coupIe of years ago, when you threw yourseIf into...
...the renovation of your kitchen? You were consumed...
...with being the perfect wife and cook.
I was trying to make it work.
WeII, I think chanting and meditation is the same thing...
...in a different costume.
DefiniteIy give me that documentary.
I've been thinking about vegetarianism.
My trigIycerides are through the roof.
Yeah. Thanks for everything.
Great to meet you.
-What? -Nothing. It's just...
...you know, you used to Iook Iike Stephen.
Now you kind of Iook Iike David.
You know?
What I meant was, you know how peopIe start resembIing their dogs?
Why wouId he say that, we Iook Iike the same dog?
-He was joking. -Not funny.
WeII, he had five Heinekens. He was bombed.
WeII, not funny.
We don't Iook Iike the same dog.
If anything, you're a coIIie and I'm a Tibetan mastiff.
Don't you wanna give me a chance to miss you?
You wanna go away for a year?
Do you know what I felt when I wok e up, Delia?
Nothing. No passion, no spark, no faith, no heat. AbsoIuteIy nothing.
I've gotten past the point where I can be caIIing this a bad moment.
And it just terrifies me. Jesus, this is Iike worse than death to me...
...the idea that this is the person I'm gonna be from now on.
This happens to peopIe.
They faII in Iove in their 20s, get married...
...do the granite countertop, white-picket fence in their 30s...
...and somewhere they reaIise, "This is not for me."
So they faiI and they faII down, they hurt Iike heII, they straighten up...
...and march their asses to the shrink's office.
-They can't just check out. -I am not checking out.
I need to change.
You have a support system here, Liz.
You have friends and famiIy who Iove you.
And do you feeI my Iove for you? My support for you? No.
There's , Iike, nothing. I have no puIse.
-I am going to ItaIy. -ItaIy. Why ItaIy?
-What did you have for Iunch? -I don't know. A saIad.
ExactIy. I used to have this appetite for food, for my Iife...
...and it is just gone.
I wanna go somepIace where I can marveI at something.
Language, geIato, spaghetti, something.
-You're taIking Iike a coIIege kid. -I've been acting Iike one.
Since I was 1 5, I've either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy.
I have not given myseIf two weeks of a breather...
...to just deaI with, you know, myseIf.
What's going on with you and David?
What, did you faII out?
I don't know how to be here.
You wanna know how to be here? Stop constantIy waiting for something.
I'm going to ItaIy and then I'm going to David's guru's ashram in India...
...and I'm going to end the year in BaIi.
That's what I'm gonna do.
That's harder to argue with. The beaches are nice. But why?
-Ketut toId me I wouId. -Guy with no teeth.
When you're desperate...
...and some guy who, yes, Iooks a IittIe Iike Yoda...
...hands you a prophecy, you have to respond.
-Do you need a Xanax? -AIways.
Okay, I'm just gonna say it. I'm gonna say it and be done with it.
What if it doesn't work?
My whoIe Iife fits in a 1 2-foot-square box.
You know how many times I hear that in a day?
Most of them never come back for their whoIe Iife.
-HeIIo? -Liz.
Good news. Stephen just signed the divorce papers.
I'lI probabIy be back in a week, penniIess with dysentery.
You're my hero.
Hey.
If you stay, we'lI go out for Indian every night.
You never asked me to stay.
Go, go, go.
There is a wonderful old Italian jok e...
...about a poor man who goes to church every day...
...and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging.:
"Dear saint, please, please, please let me win the lottery. "
Finally, the exasperated statue comes to life...
...and looks down at the begging man and says.:
"My son, please, please, please buy a tick et. "
So now I get the jok e.
And I've got three tick ets.
You heat the water on the stove.
So if I want to bathe...?
You put the water in the tub.
Okay.
Yeah. It doesn't reaIIy seem Iike enough water to bathe in.
Not enough.
Yes, it's enough.
FiII it up three, four, five times.
Everything that's important gets cIeaned.
Is this safe? This...
...scaffoIding? ScaffoI--
It hoIds up the ceiIing.
Otherwise it wiII faII apart.
Everything faIIs apart, my dear.
The onIy thing permanent in Iife is famiIy.
You're not married.
No, div orziata.
Why divorced?
We broke it.
You're more happy now?
I have one ruIe.
No strange men spending the night.
You American girIs when you come to ItaIy...
...aII you want is pasta...
...and sausage.
I'lI take it.
Good. You chose weII.
Cappuccino.
-It's a zoo in here. -And my ItaIian sucks.
-How Iong have you been here? -Two weeks. You?
Six weeks. You'lI get better.
Two cappuccinos, pIease.
And warm the miIk this time.
Yesterday it was too hot and burned my tongue.
-You Iike NapoIeons? -Of course.
And two NapoIeons, pIease.
Your ItaIian is fantastic.
I have a wonderfuI tutor. I'lI give you his number if you Iike.
-He's reaIIy good and he needs work. -Oh, great.
Are you Dutch? German?
Swedish. Even coIder peopIe, if you can imagine.
-I'm Liz, by the way. -Sofi.
You can say:
It's past.
Too fast, but okay.
You can say:
Yeah.
What a beautifuI word.
Come on, it's " Iet's cross over." It's so ordinary.
No, it's the perfect combination of ItaIian sounds.
It's the wistfuI " ah," the roIIing triII, the soothing " ess."
-That's true. -I Iove it.
AII right, Iet me teach you a word.
Therapist.
-Come on. -Good. You gotta Iearn humour.
-It's not. -Come on. Cheers.
-ShaII we continue Tuesday at 5? -Yes.
-With another bottIe of the therapy? -Of course.
-You're doing very weII, Liz. -Thank you.
And you must be very poIite with yourseIf...
...when you Iearn something new.
Yes. Grazie, I agree.
But your EngIish-- How are you even taIking to me Iike this right now?
I think you're gonna teach me more than I teach you.
You have good ItaIian. Very good.
AII right.
I am aIone.
I feeI so guiIty. I've been in Rome for three weeks...
...aII I've done is Iearn a few ItaIian words and eat.
You feeI guiIty because you're American.
You don't know how to enjoy yourseIf.
-I beg your pardon? -It's true.
Americans know entertainment, but don't know pIeasure.
This is Luca Spaghetti, by the way, you know.
Your name is Luca Spaghetti?
Yes, that's what our famiIy is caIIed.
We invented it. I'm serious. Listen to me.
You want to know your probIem? Americans.
You work too hard. You get burned out.
Then you come home and spend the whoIe weekend...
...in your pyjamas in front of the TV.
That's not far off, actuaIIy.
But you don't know pIeasure. You have to be toId you've earned it.
You see a commerciaI that says, " It's MiIIer time" ...
...and you say, "That's right. Now I wiII go to buy a six-pack."
And drink the whoIe thing and wake up the next morning and you feeI terribIe.
But an ItaIian doesn't need to be toId.
He waIks by a sign that says, "you deserve a break today" ...
...and he says, "Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm pIanning on taking a break at noon...
...to go over to your house and sIeep with your wife."
We caII it "dolce far niente. "
It means...
...the sweetness of doing nothing. We are masters of it.
He's right. He says...
...you can't Iearn ItaIian Iike this.
You don't speak the Ianguage just with your mouth, speak it with your hands.
Like this?
Okay. Is yeIIing.
'T HAT MEAL WAS EX CELLENT'
'SUCK IT'
AII this gives me a stomachache.
'SCREW YOU'
-I think that's my neighbour Lorenzo. -Charming.
ANOTHER WAY TO SAY 'SCREW YOU'
So anyway, to start off I'd say....
Excuse me.
Come here.
For the tabIe...
...a big pIatter of artichoke aIIa giudia...
...prosciutto with meIon...
...and eggpIant with ricotta affumicata.
Then spaghetti aIIa carbonara...
...pappardeIIe with ragu of rabbit...
...and Iinguini with cIams.
Then tripe aIIa romana...
...and saItimbocca.
And two more Iitres of the vino sfuso from Genzano.
Thank you.
You did it. Yes.
Liz GiIbert, you are a Roman woman now.
No, onIy honorary.
That is a reaI Roman woman.
Yeah, with a Iot of internationaI friends.
That one, I'd bite.
Maybe you and Rome just have different words.
-Different words? -Yeah.
Yeah. It's Iike each city has a word, if you reaIIy think about it.
Like, what is the word for London?
-I wouId say " stuffy." -I wouId agree with that.
-What's the word for StockhoIm? -Are you kidding? " Conform."
And New York?
" Ambition" or " soot."
What's the word for Rome?
It's kind of difficuIt to think about.
It's cIassic.
"Sex."
Of course.
So, what's your word, Liz? I'm curious. I can't figure it out.
WeII....
It might be....
It started as " daughter." I was good at that. And then...
..." wife." Not so good.
" GirIfriend."
Not so good.
My word's " writer."
Yeah, but that's what you do. That isn't who you are, no?
Maybe you're a woman in search of her word.
Hey, Sofi, it' Liz. Let' go to Naples. Maybe my word is " pizza. "
Listen, Iady, I am onIy 7, but I can teII you're a compIete moron...
...because I am from NapIes.
I Iove this pIace, but Giovanni said to watch out.
His cousin got mugged here in a museum.
-Are you serious? -Watch out for the scooter. Yeah.
I'm in Iove. I'm having a reIationship with my pizza.
You Iook Iike you're breaking up with the pizza. What's the matter?
I can't .
What do you mean, you can't ? This is pizza in NapoIi.
It is your moraI imperative to eat that pizza.
I want to, but I've gained, Iike, 1 0 pounds.
I mean, I've got this....
Right here. What's it caIIed? What's the word?
A muffin top.
I have one too.
I unbuttoned my jeans five minutes ago just Iooking at this.
Let me ask you a question.
In aII the years you've ever undressed in front of a gentIeman....
-Hasn't been that many. -AII right, weII...
...has he ever asked you to Ieave?
-Has he ever waIked out? Left? -No.
Because he doesn't care.
He's in a room with a naked girI. He's won the Iottery.
I'm so tired of saying no and then waking up in the morning...
...and recaIIing every singIe thing I ate the day before.
Counting every caIorie so I know exactIy...
...how much seIf-Ioathing to take into the shower.
I'm going for it.
I have no interest in being obese. I'm just through with the guiIt.
This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna finish this pizza...
...and then we're gonna go watch the soccer game.
And tomorrow we're gonna go on a IittIe date...
...and buy ourseIves some bigger jeans.
Giovanni Iikes a muffin.
AttagirI.
He's saying, " For whom are you pIaying?"
Per chi, for whom.
PuII, puII. I'm sucking it in.
Put some Swedish muscIe into this.
You think this happened to Sophia Loren?
There it goes. AImost got it.
Go, go, go. You're not trying.
I've aImost got it. I've aImost got it. I did it.
Oh, that's beautifuI. You shouId get it.
For whom?
For you, Liz. Just for you.
No, I'm happy just with my big Iady pants.
Thanks for the day. And the Ieg room.
It was fun.
We're gonna go for food. Wanna come?
No. No, I'm good.
The sweetness of doing nothing.
Please. Please get off the floor.
WiII you pIease just...? WiII you come up here?
What if we just acknowIedge that we have a screwed-up reIationship...
...and we stick it out anyway?
We accept that we fight a Iot...
...and we hardIy have sex anymore...
...but that we don't wanna Iive without each other.
And that way we can spend our Iives together...
...miserabIe...
...but happy not to be apart.
Dear David.:
We haven't had any communication in a while...
...and it' given me time I needed to think.
Remember when you said we should live with each other and be unhappy...
...so we could be happy?
Consider it a testimony to how much I love you...
... that I spent so long pouring myself into that offer...
... trying to mak e it work.
But a friend took me to the most amazing place the other day.
It' called the Augusteum.
Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains.
When the barbarians came, they trashed it along with everything else.
The great Augustus, Rome' first true great emperor...
...how could he have imagined that Rome...
... the whole world, as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins?
During the Dark Ages, someone came in here and stoIe the emperor's ashes.
In the 1 2th century, it became a fortress...
...then a buIIring.
They stored fireworks in here after that.
Nowadays, it's a bathroom for the homeIess...
...so you better watch your step going down.
It' one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome.
The city has grown up around it over centuries.
It feels lik e a precious wound...
... lik e a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good.
I Iike it messy.
We all want things to stay the same, David.
I guess the guy before me must've been some angeI, huh?
Settle for living in misery...
...because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins.
Then I look ed around in this place, at the chaos it' endured...
... the way it' been adapted, burned, pillaged...
... then found a way to build itself back up again, and I was reassured.
Maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic. It' just the world that is...
...and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it.
Ruin is a gift.
Ruin is the road to transformation.
Hey.
You ready?
Yeah.
Even in this eternal city, the Augusteum showed me...
... that we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation.
Both of us deserve better than staying together...
...because we're afraid we'll be destroyed if we don't .
My mother's stuffing. StaIe bread, waInuts, got those.
WiII you get me some more potatoes?
Oh, I'm aIways getting you more potatoes.
It's my dream, a reaI American Thanksgiving.
The perfect way to say goodbye to our Liz.
So...
-...you Ieave this week, huh? -Yes.
And where are you going? Iran?
India.
Liz is making us an American meaI tonight.
-You are not married, yeah? -No.
What's wrong with your friend, is she a Iesbian?
No, Mama, she's not a Iesbian. And she understands ItaIian.
How's she going to find another husband and start a famiIy...
...when she's on the other side of the worId?
If a man said, " I'm going to traveI for a year and meet wonderfuI peopIe...."
But she's not a man.
It's more difficuIt for a woman to feeI that she has the right to make choices.
-It takes a Iot of courage. -ExactIy.
You caII it courage, I caII it stupidity.
Mama, enough.
I know a number of peopIe who wouId agree with you.
Luca?
What time wiII the turkey be ready?
The turkey....
I haven't defrosted it yet.
Oh, shit.
You onIy had one thing to do and you screwed it up.
I was distracted! It can happen!
Too much good food!
Too many women!
And I forgot!
Now, before we eat, everyone...
...it is Thanksgiving, so Iet us give thanks.
-Yeah. Come on, join hands. -Okay.
So we just say what we....
What we thank God for tonight. Sofi, why don't you start?
I am gratefuI for you, Liz...
...for heIping me appreciate Iife...
...with aII that comes with it...
...muffin tops and bad times.
And for Giovanni...
...for making me feeI...
...Ioved and secure.
I thank God for...
...fear...
...because for the first time...
...I'm afraid the person next to me...
...wiII be the one who wants to Ieave.
Liz?
WeII, this aII makes me so gratefuI.
Seeing aII you happy peopIe...
...who know how to Iove each other and take care of each other.
I Iook at the amazing women I've met who I admire so much...
...and the great men, taking care of their women...
...and putting their chiIdren to bed.
I just feeI happy...
...to see it and to be part of it.
I'm the Iuckiest girI in the worId.
It's a good breakfast, huh?
I wiII take this to your room.
It has aIready started.
-I feII asIeep. -Yeah. Pity.
ProbabIy the onIy person in the worId who ever feII asIeep during meditation.
-This Ieads to the meditation garden. -Is the guru here?
-She's aIways here. -I know, but is she " here" here?
She's at her ashram in New York.
But I came from New York to see her here.
Sounds Iike one of her IittIe tricks.
The meditation cave.
It's open 24I7 and it's air-conditioned.
CoreIIa?
-This is Liz GiIbert. -Hi. Nice to meet you.
-Where did you get that button? -They seII them in the bookstore.
That is exactIy what I need. I need something Iike that. I don't Iisten.
I never have. My mom used to caII me LittIe Miss Chatty Cathy...
...because I just rambIe. I am a rambIer.
I am rambIing now. I'm sorry.
SiIence is a wonderfuI spirituaI practice...
...but if CoreIIa couId speak, she'd teII you it's more chaIIenging than it Iooks.
-Wait tiII you've been here for a whiIe. -Okay.
Thank you, CoreIIa. I'lI be sure to teII her.
-What did she say? -No idea.
Change into your work cIothes. I'lI take you to your seva.
It's a Hindu word for " seIfIess devotionaI work."
-It's required of everyone who stays. -Okay. Thank you.
Is there anything in this worId skinnier than an Indian teenage boy?
-I'm TuIsi. -Liz.
Where are you from?
The next town. My parents have been devotees of the guru for many years.
We spend a Iot of time here.
But...
...they are trying to marry me off. That's the custom.
-That's not what you want? -No way. It sucks.
I want to study psychoIogy, just as our guru did when she attended coIIege.
I prefer to be with God than boys my age.
No one in my famiIy understands my coming aII the way to India.
Do you ever Iook at them and wonder, "What am I doing in this famiIy?"
You have no idea.
It is most commendabIe that you ended your marriage.
You seem Iike such a happy, free person now.
I think my ex-husband wouId describe me as seIfish.
You mustn't be angry with yourseIf or disappointed.
You don't have to make chiIdren or be married to have a famiIy.
Oh, man. They got mosquitoes here big enough...
...to stand fIat-footed and screw a chicken.
-I Iove you. -Liz, have you met...
-...Richard from Texas? -HeIIo, Richard from Texas.
-Nice to meet you, Groceries. -Groceries?
Yeah. Yeah, I heard you eating before I saw you.
I never seen anybody eat so much at one time.
You sure do enjoy your groceries.
You know, it's been a rough day, and if no one takes it personaIIy...
...I'm going to take my Iarge meaI somepIace eIse to eat it in siIence.
Oh, no, stay. I'm done.
Looked Iike you were working through some...
...pretty rough stuff this morning.
Stuff with your ex-husband?
I got an ex-wife.
She thinks I changed my name to " Motherfucker."
I--
I just spent some time in Rome and I came here feeIing so great.
And now here I am, at the source...
...and I feeI more disconnected than ever.
Why'd you come here?
I just want some peace.
Peace?
You wanna get to the castIe, Groceries...
...you got to swim the moat.
Here, you can finish that. I know you can.
Okay.
Simply empty your mind.
Breathe.
What am I going to do when this year is over?
Where am I going to live?
Well, maybe Chicago.
Oh, my God. I could build a meditation room--
No. Stop thinking. Why is this so hard?
Screw you, Corella. How the hell does she do this?
She looks lik e frigging Mother Teresa.
Oh, my God, kill me.
-Who's in the moat today? -Shut up.
Sounds Iike you wrestIed some big-ass crocs.
You know what? If you're so goddamn smart, what are you doing here?
If you're here, it makes you smart aIready.
-Do you wanna taIk about what--? -No, not to you. Thank you.
I'm the onIy one here. You're gonna taIk about it sooner or Iater.
I cannot focus in there.
AII I think about is my meditation room and how to decorate.
Are you shitting me?
Are you kidding me?
The meditation room is within, Groceries. Decorate that.
Do you aIways taIk in bumper sticker?
I do, and here's another one.
You have to Iearn to seIect your thoughts the way you seIect...
...your cIothes every day. That's a power you can cuItivate.
You wanna come here and controI your Iife so bad, work on the mind.
That's the onIy thing you shouId controI.
If you can't master your thoughts, you're in troubIe.
I am trying.
Yeah, heIIo, that's the damn probIem. Stop trying. Surrender.
Go out into the garden and just sit there and stiII your mind...
...and you watch what happens.
Why don't you just Iet it be?
Has anyone ever toId you you Iook Iike James TayIor?
Every day.
God, he reaIIy does.
My prayers were aIways the same.
" PIease, God, pIease. Open my heart, send me a sign...
...because we both know I ain't the sharpest tooI in the shed."
Look at you, fIoating through CaIcutta.
Looks Iike you had a great meditation.
I probabIy have maIaria now.
The bites wiII go away.
EventuaIIy everything goes away.
You ever done that, Groceries? Begged for a sign?
That sounds vagueIy famiIiar.
Be carefuI what you wish for. You just might get it.
What is your probIem?
Did you faII in Iove with the wrong woman or something?
Excuse me, Miss GiIbert.
You have a phone caII.
How's the Guru Gita treating you?
Fine. You'd Iike her.
Did you get my e-maiI?
Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner.
Why didn't you?
Because if I didn't respond...
...we were stiII having a conversation. I was stiII in it.
I'm sorry. We were just bad timing.
I just wanted things to be easy. We were good when things were easy.
It's not that I need " easy" right now. I just can't have " so hard."
WeII, you sound good.
Stronger.
So do you.
Yeah, weII, I'm an actor, Liz.
I got a part.
It' off-Broadway, but it' pretty cool.
I'm happy for you.
AII right.
WeII, I'lI see you around, kid.
Check you out.
I have never seen you so focused.
You need a Thums Up.
No, no. No Iips on the bottIe.
First ruIe in India is never touch anything but yourseIf.
Oh, good God. That's , Iike, five times sweeter than Coke.
I think it might have methamphetamines in it.
We can onIy hope.
I know you feeI awfuI.
But your Iife's changing.
That's not a bad thing.
And you're in the perfect pIace for it. Surrounded by grace.
I thought I was over him, but...
...I Iove him.
Big deaI.
-So you feII in Iove with someone. -I reaIIy miss him.
So miss him.
Send him some Iight and Iove every time you think of him, then drop it.
You know, if you couId cIear out aII that space in your mind...
...that you're using to obsess over this guy...
...and your faiIed marriage, you'd have a vacuum with a doorway.
And you know what the universe wouId do with that doorway?
Rush in. God wouId rush in.
FiII you with more Iove than you ever dreamed of. Man.
Groceries.
I think you have the capacity someday to Iove the whoIe worId.
What do they seII over there?
Ganesh. Remover of obstacIes.
I'm gonna need a Iot of these.
Speaking of eIephants, there's a rogue eIephant on the Ioose in the area.
He was with carnivaI.
They say he is very, very unpredictabIe and voIatiIe.
That just makes him more attractive to her.
How'd you get to be so smart? I'lI bet it was the hard way.
Don't change the subject.
WeII, when is this grieving phase going to pass?
You want a day on a caIendar you can circIe?
-Can you give me one? -No. You got to do the work.
Meditate and go to seva...
...and most important, get your butt down to the Geet every morning...
...and something'lI change.
I just cannot get through the Guru Gita. I can't find that feeIing of devotion.
Okay. Devotion's Iove. Pick somebody or something you wanna devote it to.
It doesn't have to be the guru. It's aII the same to her.
This is about you.
Can I teII you something, Groceries? You got some serious controI issues.
Is it obvious?
AII right, Richard, get out from inside my head now.
Shut the door.
-That's him? -That's him.
-He's hideous. -No, he's not. He's cute.
He's a Sagittarius.
He studies computer programming in DeIhi.
He has very good grades.
And his famiIy is very, very weaIthy.
He wiII be very conceited and dictatoriaI.
My Iife is over at 1 7.
TuIsi.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the dance floor...
...for their very first coupIes dance, Liz and Stephen.
My peopIe.
-Are you ready? -I'm ready.
-You Iook beautifuI. -Thank you.
I married a hottie.
-What is that? That's not our song. -No, it is not.
Baby, that's not our song.
-DefiniteIy not. -Everybody's Iooking at us.
It's okay. I'm gonna go taIk to the guy. It's gonna be fine.
-I toId you I'd get it. -This is taking care of it?
I owe you a wedding gift. I didn't know what was appropriate.
I wanted to teII you I've been...
...dedicating my Guru Gita to you.
Imagining you happy is what got me through it.
What did it Iook Iike...
...when I was happy?
I imagine you and RijuI...
...smiIing and Iooking at each other...
...with Iove and kindness.
It seemed very reaI.
Thank you so much, Liz.
That heIps me to beIieve it as weII.
Thinking about your own wedding?
Yeah, me too.
The funny thing about weddings, you end up thinking about yourseIf.
Did you throw yourseIf a big shindig? Big, white, fIoppy dress?
Yep. I arranged it aII. Nobody forced me into anything.
Yeah. And now you can't forgive yourseIf.
HonestIy, I'm waiting for him to forgive me.
To reIease me.
Waiting for him to forgive you is a damn waste of time, Groceries.
Forgive yourseIf.
It's not that easy.
Yeah.
Good night, Richard.
-FoIIow me. -I'm tired.
Get your butt up here.
It's not a pretty story...
...but it's pretty cIassic.
Too much aIcohoI, too many drugs, too much mindIess cheating.
Just regret.
Ocean of regret.
I Iost everything.
My pride, my job.
My famiIy.
I Iost my famiIy.
One day after work, I stopped off at a bar and I got shitfaced.
I was a Iot Iike you, you know.
I was just-- I don't know. I thought too much, I feIt too....
I wanted to feeI nothing.
I shouId've caIIed a cab, but I didn't .
I just got in my car and I drove home.
My IittIe boy....
He was 8 years oId at the time. He was pI--
He was sitting in the driveway with his IittIe Hot WheeIs, waiting for his Iost...
...drunk, miserabIe dad...
...to come home and pIay with him.
I didn't see him.
I didn't . I just roared into that driveway and I didn't see my IittIe boy.
But he-- No, he....
He got out of the way.
He was used to getting out of the way when I was around.
And I-- You know, I don't --
I don't know. I don't remember a thing.
Next day, I woke up and they were gone.
My wife had been watching what happened out the window.
She just wasn't gonna....
She just wasn't gonna do it anymore.
So....
He's 1 8 now.
He's in schooI and, oh, God, he's so smart.
God, he's so funny and he's ....
He's so sweet.
I missed it aII.
I missed...
...my son's growing up. Just missed it.
Okay?
Come here.
Here's the deaI.
You're gonna stay here tiII you forgive yourseIf.
You hear me?
Everything eIse wiII take care of itseIf.
Is this where you forgave yourseIf?
I'm trying, EIizabeth.
I am trying.
Hey.
I beIieve this is the song they were supposed to pIay at our wedding.
I did Iove you, Stephen.
I know.
But I stiII Iove you.
So Iove me.
But I miss you.
So miss me.
Send me Iove and Iight every time you think of me...
...then drop it.
It won't Iast forever.
Nothing does.
-Bye-bye. -Goodbye, Mr. Richard.
I'lI see you.
Now that you're going, who is gonna kick my ass every day?
Oh, I'd stay tiII a monsoon swept me away if I couId. Bye-bye.
But you've got biIIs to pay and houses to buiId.
You just keep doing the work and move on with your Iife, wiII you?
The man is getting on a pIane and you're stiII bossing me.
I've got your whoIe Iist: move on, use mosquito repeIIent and....
I don't know. There were some other things. I wrote them down.
Go back to Texas, Richard.
WeII, I ain't getting any prettier standing here.
So I'm off.
Hey, Groceries.
BeIieve in Iove again.
Liz. Liz, I've just taken my badge off today.
I've done so weII. Four weeks of siIence. It was so duII.
But it's Iike a faceIift because your face...
...you know, just reIaxes and your throat just drops down. It's a bargain.
We've got so much to catch up on.
Oh, goIIy. Good for you. You wiII get so much out of that.
And your throat wiII Iook amazing as weII.
Excuse me, EIizabeth.
They're asking you to report to the seva office after dinner...
...if you don't mind.
We're taking you off the fIoor-scrubbing team.
There are about 50 devotees arriving tomorrow from aII over the worId...
...for a 1 0-day retreat and we'd Iike you to be the key hostess.
We ask that you don't take part during the meditations.
We need you to watch over the fIock, make sure everyone is aII right.
We caII the person who does this job LittIe Suzy Cream Cheese.
You need to be sociaI and bubbIy and smiIing aII the time.
Madam...
...I'm your girI.
So just find your suitcase, it shouId be here somewhere...
...and then head down the path to your room.
So the holy truth of the whole adventure here in India is in one line.:
God dwells within you as you.
God' not interested in watching a performance...
... of how a spiritual person looks and behaves.
The quiet girl who glides silently through the place...
... with a gentle, ethereal smile, who is that person?
That' Ingrid Bergman in The BeIIs of St. Mary's , not me.
God dwells within me as me.
ChiId tormented by demon.
It Iooks Iike teething.
Same thing.
Your turn.
HeIIo, Ketut.
I'm very happy to meet you.
You are a worId traveIIer.
No, I came to see you about a year ago.
-You girI from CaIifornia? -No, I girI from New York.
Don't remember.
WeII, you toId me I shouId come back here to BaIi.
You said I couId heIp you with your EngIish...
...and you wouId teach me the things that you know.
You gave me this.
Okay.
You. You. I remember you.
-Oh, good. -You sad girI from New York.
-Yes. -You Liss. You came back.
-I came back. -You, you, you.
Me, me, me.
So Iong ago we meet.
Last time, you have too much worry, too much sorrow.
Last time, you Iook Iike sad oId woman.
Now you pretty.
-Why so different? -WeII...
...a Iot of things, reaIIy.
But I was in Rome for four months, just feeding myseIf...
...and then I went to Iive at an ashram in India.
Now, we put together.
ExactIy. That's why I'm here.
-Ketut good for that. -What'd you give him?
Do you stiII want me to heIp you with your EngIish?
EngIish Iater, Liss.
First, better idea.
How oId are these?
From grandfather. Very important speIIs.
AIso mantras, cures.
Thousand years' worth.
AII I have, aII I know, right here.
You copy for me?
AbsoIuteIy. I can go to town and take these--
No. You don't take.
You copy here, better, Liss.
I take a nap now. I very oId.
How oId are you, Ketut?
One hundred and one...
...or maybe 64.
Don't remember.
This is gonna take me the rest of my Iife.
He make you pretty, find you husband, you work hard for him.
That's exactIy opposite of why I'm here.
Everybody need husband.
WouId you mind getting me water?
No.
Fine. Keep making copies. I get water.
So, Liz, the BaIinese beIieve that BaIi's the centre of the universe.
And here we are in the centre of BaIi.
You got the one bedroom, got your fish pond.
You got your own meditation tempIe.
I teII you, since the bombing, tourism's been way down...
...so I can give you this pIace at a very, very good price right now.
Paradise.
-I'lI take it. -PeopIe in BaIi understand...
...in order to stay happy, must aIways know where you are...
...every moment.
Right here is perfect baIance. Right at meeting of heaven and earth.
Not too much God, not too much seIfish.
Otherwise, Iife too crazy.
You Iose baIance, you Iose power.
In morning, you do meditation from India.
Serious. Very serious.
In day, you enjoy BaIi.
Then in afternoon, come see me.
End of day, you do new meditation.
Very simpIe.
Sit in siIence and smiIe.
I feeI baIanced aIready.
Not so easy, Liss.
SmiIe with face. SmiIe with mind.
Even smiIe in Iiver.
See you Iater, aIIigator.
Oh, God.
-Are you aII right? -Are you bIind?
-PIease, Iet me take you to a doctor. -I'm fine. I just--
It Iooks bad.
Very bad, Liss.
-What happen? -This idiot ran me off the road.
A man? He rich?
This very hot.
-You need heaIer. -I have you. You're a medicine man.
-No. You need Wayan. -Yeah.
Jamu. Drink this. Better than antibiotic.
She make you drink this?
-My name's Liz. What's yours? -Tutti.
Nice to meet you, Tutti.
-Are you married? -No.
You sure? Not even once?
Okay, weII, there was this one time...
...but I find when I teII peopIe in BaIi that I'm divorced, it upsets them.
Me too, divorce.
Divorce make you sad and make you an outcast.
You have no sex for a Iong time, baby.
I can teII by your knee.
The cartiIage very dry. Hormones from sex Iubricate joint.
-Okay. -I pray for you.
We sisters.
Armenia!
Armenia from BraziI.
Armenia, this is Liz from New York.
-Hi. -LoveIy to meet you, Liz.
Time for a banana root hair treatment?
-Yes, of course. -It makes the hair Iong and Iustrous.
Like Cher circa 1 97 5.
Do you have a nice dress?
One.
Put it on tonight, come to the Beach Shack.
I'lI introduce you to everyone. The expats, the IocaIs.
You'lI dance. You wiII Iove it.
Oh, no, I don't think I can dance with my Ieg Iike this.
Of course you can. Leg no probIem.
You see.
Now you have to come.
Hi. CouId I get a tequiIa on the rocks with a Iot of Iime, pIease?
Coming right up.
Can I buy you a drink?
No, thank you, I'm fine.
I-- I aImost kiIIed you.
I am sorry for that, reaIIy.
-HeIIo. -Hi.
I'm sorry, reaIIy.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I'm Iaughing, but it's amazing.
I was actuaIIy Iistening to this song in the car when the tape jumped.
And I Ieaned over to fix it and I ran you off the road.
-Did you teII them to pIay it? -No, no, no. I make them mixtapes.
MostIy BraziIian music.
But I'm aIso very much into PhiI CoIIins and Air SuppIy.
You reaIIy shouIdn't say things Iike that out Ioud.
Liz!
-Hi. -Oh, I see you've aIready met FeIipe.
Oh, of course. Two sad divorces. You have so much in common.
I have the perfect man for you.
Just a IittIe Iove affair. Everyone has a IittIe Iove affair in BaIi.
Isn't he charming? Ian.
Doesn't he Iook Iike Sting?
Oh, yeah. I made a very good mixtape of Sting.
You shouId dance with him.
Got you. Come on, I got you.
That's gonna hurt tomorrow.
AII right. You know what?
-That is it. We are going swimming. -No, I don't even have my-- I--
You don't have your-- You don't --
You're so naked.
Yeah, I'm naked.
Armenia says everyone shouId have a Iove affair.
This is BaIi. Everyone shouId have a Iove affair in BaIi.
Yeah, but--
Oh, God. No, no, no.
-Love affairs are awesome, dude. -They are. I just--
I dated you 1 5 years ago.
And I dated you six months ago.
So I'm gonna go.
You're not-- You're reaIIy-- You're going.
But you're cute.
I think I Iook good.
Wait a minute.
Oh, sorry. Here.
-Thank you. -Do you need a ride?
That way I won't run you over again.
HeIIo.
-What time is it? -Five a.m.
Oh, you party hard.
You reaIIy do.
Thank you for....
-The ride? -Yeah.
You're very weIcome. Need heIp with the bicycIe?
You keep it.
Keep it? But it has a basket.
It aIso has a beII.
Good afternoon. How are you?
What are you doing here?
WeII, I've brought you Wayan's famous hangover cure...
...because you drank a IittIe bit too much Iast night.
And here it is. Very deIicious, as you can see...
...and very tasty.
Do you make it a habit of waIking into peopIe's houses?
Do you make it a habit of sIeeping with your front door open?
It's a caII. Moment.
-HeIIo, darIing. How are you? -Can't get the coffee machine to work.
Okay. I've toId you 50 times. It's very easy.
You change the fiIter, you add the coffee...
...you add water and that's it. How did you get into coIIege?
-How do I make it Iike you? -Listen, I've been making coffee...
...darIing, for 40 years, so you have to be patient with yourseIf. AII right?
Okay. So, what' up with you?
-Nothing. I just can't taIk right now. -HoIy shit. You're with a girI.
-I have to go. -Who is she? Is she hot?
-Jesus, she's hot. -Dad, if you hang up...
...I'lI caII back and embarrass you.
Dad, don't --
That's a Iot of " darIings," darIing.
Yeah. That darIing was my son.
I've caIIed aII my chiIdren " darIing" since they were IittIe.
Then there was a moment that between the pets and the chiIdren...
...I was confused, so I caIIed everybody " darIing."
Okay, you need to rest.
Here is my number and my address.
I'm gonna Ieave it here on the tabIe, in case you need a tour guide.
A tour guide.
And pIease, drink that up, because it's gonna heIp you a big deaI.
Because you reaIIy Iook....
-Ravishing? -Astonishing.
-Go away. PIease. -Okay. Drink it up.
It's gonna be heIpfuI.
Hey, Mr. Tour Guide.
Can we start with a coffee?
Okay.
What are these?
These are rambutan. They're deIicious.
It's Iike an orange made Iove to a pIum. WouId you Iike some?
When you put it that way, yes, thank you.
Excuse me.
What is that?
No, no, no.
They taste Iike dirty feet.
-ReaIIy? -Dirty feet.
They taste Iike feet.
Look out. Nice. How many pIaces have you visited?
I have 46 stamps on my passport.
I happen to have 49 stamps on my passport.
-Forty-nine? I knew it. -Yes.
-Knew what? -I knew it.
We are both antevasins, my dear.
What is that?
Antevasin is....
It's an in-between.
It is the one who Iives by the border...
...because they renounce to the comfort of famiIy Iife...
...in order to seek " enIightment."
I Iike your word.
And I Iike the way you say " enIightment."
" EnIightment." I try.
You're missing a syIIabIe, but I Iike it.
It's beautifuI, no?
It's Pura MeIanting, which means "TempIe of Prosperity."
-BeautifuI. -Yup.
-So next attraction of the tour? -Yes.
-Food from BaIi. -Oh, good. I'm starving.
-Where shouId we go? -To the best restaurant in town.
-Of course. -My pIace.
SubtIe.
Did you aIways Iive in BraziI before you came to BaIi?
No, no. OnIy for 20 years.
Then I met my wife and I moved with her to AustraIia.
She traveIIed a Iot because of the job.
-And I stayed home with the chiIdren. -A good feminist husband.
Yeah. Yeah. Didn't turn out to be what she wanted, I'm afraid.
-What happened? -What happened?
WeII, the chiIdren were grown.
And I run an import-export jeweIIery business, so I couId Iive anywhere.
And BaIi seemed Iike the perfect pIace to recover from a divorce.
And here I am. Here I am.
-And you? -WeII, far Iess tragic.
We were immature and reaIIy too young to get married. We grew apart.
Hearts were broken.
Yes.
Then it's the same.
This is just perfect.
So are you.
You know what you are? You're a falsa magra.
-You know what that is? -What?
You are sIender and eIegant in a distance...
...but up cIose, you are round and fIeshy.
Thank God for BraziIians.
Stop that!
You are a worId traveIIer.
He says that to everyone.
AIready make your money.
You don't have young-man ambition.
-He's good. -You have three chiIdren.
Two. That's a caIIous.
And you have divorce.
Very difficuIt.
You Ioved her very much.
You haven't heaIed that wound.
Now you are scared to open your heart.
You are afraid hurt wiII happen to you again.
OnIy way to heaI...
...is to trust.
This okay. To have broken heart mean you have tried for something.
Is it going to be broken again?
He a good man, Liz. You need a good man.
Thank you.
True. Ketut knows.
I am so sick of peopIe teIIing me I need a man.
You don't need a man, Liz. You need a champion.
-Some spring break, huh? -Come on. You're moving Iike turtIes.
His enthusiasm is exhausting.
Try being dropped off at schooI when you're 1 0...
...and having your father kiss you on the mouth.
He stiII does it.
I'm sure it's aII normaI in BraziI, but I didn't grow up in BraziI.
Friends wouId tease the crap out of me.
Why didn't you ask him to stop?
No, I did at first, but then I reaIised...
...how happy it made the oId guy and I just gave in.
You know what? My grandmother hikes faster than you both...
...but she's aIready dead.
Get him. Go get him.
How about you carry the packs for a whiIe, eh?
Come here. Look at this.
Is it nice?
Baby.
Bringing up the rear.
-So have you sIept with her yet? -What was that?
Have you sIept with her yet?
Crossing the Iine.
Dad, it's been 1 0 years. It's time.
Stay away from aII the beautifuI girIs.
They are dangerous.
-A week is too short. -Yeah.
-A week is too short. -Yup.
Listen, I've made you a mixtape.
And I give you a present. For you.
Thank you.
I'm missing you aIready.
Bye, Liz.
-Be safe. -Same to you.
So don't I get a kiss?
I don't know.
-I Iove you, Dad. -I Iove you too.
So stupid, I know.
He's 1 9 years oId and he's such a man.
It's sweet.
You're sweet.
DarIing...
...it's time.
-Liz. -What?
Liz. Come here. I have to teII you something.
No. I shouId reaIIy, reaIIy be meditating.
Go, go. Do it.
You know, I have not been to see Ketut in two weeks.
-ReaIIy? -Yes.
-Okay. Go, go. -Okay.
Oh, gosh. But you are just so much cuter than Ketut.
No, I have to go. I have to go.
Why?
You have bIadder infection.
Common after no sex, then too much sexy time.
We haven't even been apart for a minute in two weeks.
You're afraid now, right?
I understand.
You don't want to Iose yourseIf.
Love is scary, dangerous.
Happen to me.
I pray every day, but husband bad for me.
I have to get away from him.
This from where he hit me...
...with motorcycIe heImet.
And then my daughter...
...she begged me to Ieave him.
Is that right, honey?
I said, " I think you shouId get a divorce, Mommy."
She was 4 years oId when she said it.
Don't feeI bad about FeIipe.
Everybody needs affection, honey.
Make peopIe do funny things.
Everyone gets Iike that at beginning of reIationship.
Want too much happiness, too much pIeasure...
...untiI make yourseIf sick.
Even to Wayan, this happen at beginning of my Iove affair.
I Iose myseIf, Liz.
Dear friends and loved ones.:
My birthday' coming up soon.
If I were home, I'd be planning a stupid, expensive...
...birthday party and you'd all be buying me gifts and bottles of wine.
A cheaper, more lovely way to celebrate would be to...
...mak e a donation to help a healer named Wayan Nuriyasih...
...buy a house in Indonesia.
She' a single mother. In Bali, after a div orce...
...a woman gets nothing, not even her children.
To gain custody of her daughter, Tutti, Wayan had to sell everything...
... even her bath mat, to pay for a lawyer.
For years, they've moved from place to place.
Each time, Wayan loses clientele and Tutti has to change schools.
This little group of people in Bali have become my family.
And we must tak e care of our families, wherever we find them.
Today I saw Tutti playing with a blue tile she'd found in the road...
...near a hotel construction site. She told me.:
Maybe if we have a house someday...
...it can have a pretty bIue fIoor Iike this.
When I was in Italy, I learned a word--
It's "tutti" with doubIe T.
--which in Italian means " everybody. " So that' the lesson, isn't it?
When you set out in the world to help yourself...
...sometimes you end up helping Tutti.
-TeII me again. -Eighteen thousand American doIIars.
I brought you the e-maiIs to Iook at.
Oh, my God.
We get a house.
It can be the house for everybody!
I can have a pharmacy! I can have a Iibrary!
-AII right. Oh, God. -CIose them again. CIose your eyes.
CarefuI. You don't wanna break a tooth or anything.
-Don't worry, but cIose your eyes. -Where are you taking me?
You wiII see.
-You heIped Wayan to get a house... -I know.
...and we're going to ceIebrate.
-Here, here, here. -AII right.
-Turn, turn, turn. -I know we're at the beach.
Here you go.
We're going to take a IittIe boat trip.
Where?
Where? To a IittIe isIand nearby.
It's my favourite pIace in the worId. I've packed for two.
We can stay there untiI next Tuesday. And I have the perfect camping spot.
Just you and I and 400 parrots.
Do you Iike it?
I was going to save it for tonight, but I think this is the right moment.
I have to be in BaIi because my business is here...
...and you have to be in New York...
...because that's where your Iife is, right?
What if we tried to create a Iife that is divided between the two pIaces?
Why wouId you wanna do that?
Because I'm in Iove with you.
-Let's go. Let's go. -Oh, no. I....
-What? -I can't . I'm sorry.
-I just.... -You can't ?
-I'm sorry. I can't . -Can't what?
I can't go on a trip right now, okay? I....
I haven't been home in five days. I haven't seen Ketut in weeks.
-It's just too much. -It's not much.
To go...
...by ourseIves...
...apart from everything eIse for a coupIe of days, is that much for you?
Liz, não entendo. What's the probIem, Liz?
I mean, I have the same fears, I have the same scars that you have...
...and I show them to you.
But I guess the onIy difference between you and I is that...
...you are afraid to Iove again.
My darIing, this is it.
You have to Iook me in the eye and Iet me know the truth.
PIease. Do you Iove me or do you Iove me not?
Look me in the eyes and teII me...
...do you Iove me or don't you Iove me not? It's very easy.
I know you feeI the same way. Why can't you say it back?
I don't know why.
Why can't I?
Because you're terrified, my Iove. But Iisten, it's fine. Me too.
But I stiII want to get into that boat with you.
-No. Okay, Iook. Look. -What?
I don't know why you can't understand this.
I found something and I can't give it up.
And trust me, if I did, you wouIdn't be so aII in Iove with me.
Okay, the baIance thing. You traveIIed around the worId to find your baIance.
And the baIance that you think you've found is what?
Meditating for 20 minutes and going to see an oId medicine man?
Listen, baIance, my darIing, baIance is not Ietting anybody Iove you...
-...Iess than you Iove yourseIf. -You know what? You know what?
Do not teII me what Iessons I have and haven't Iearned in the Iast year...
...and don't teII me how baIanced and wise you are...
...and how I can't express myseIf.
And do not say " darIing" to me again because I am just gonna Iose it.
Listen to me! I do not need to Iove you to prove that I Iove myseIf.
Run away from me?
You are running away from aII the great possibiIities of your own Iife.
I'm getting into that boat.
For you.
A goodbye gift.
Ketut.
Liss...
...you heaIed me.
You heaIed me too, Ketut.
If it wasn't for you, I wouIdn't have come back to BaIi...
...and I wouIdn't have come back to myseIf.
You want coffee? Roast pig?
Coffee.
I get you coffee.
You fIy back to America soon?
In two hours.
Have you ever been on an airpIane, Ketut?
Ketut cannot fIy on aeropIane.
Ketut have no teeths.
You are good friend to me.
You are Iike daughter.
When I die...
...you wiII come back to BaIi? Come to my cremation?
BaIinese cremation ceremony is very fun.
-You wiII Iike it. -Okay.
You stiII smiIe with your Iiver, Iike I teII you?
Yes.
You stiII meditate Iike your guru in India teach you?
-Yes. -You happy now with God?
-Yes. -You Iove your new boyfriend?
I ended it.
Don't understand. Why you do that?
I couIdn't keep my baIance.
Liss, Iisten to Ketut.
Sometimes to Iose baIance for Iove...
...is part of Iiving baIanced Iife.
In the end...
...I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest. "
A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity.
The rule of Quest Physics goes something lik e this.:
If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting...
... which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments...
...and set out on a truth-seeking journey...
... either externally or internally...
...and if you are truly willing to regard everything...
... that happens to you on that journey as a clue...
...and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher...
...and if you are prepared, most of all...
... to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself...
... then the truth will not be withheld from you.
FeIipe?
I can't help but believe it, given my experience.
I decided on my word.
It means:
" Let's cross over."